Girls have bad aim too

Vickey’s at a Pampered Chef retreat this evening (some of them are spending the night, but she’s not) and I just returned with the kids, the dog and the Coglianese kids (along with their babysitter) from a walk around the neighborhood.

Eliana has an hour to get ready for bed and watch some of her movie de jour and snack on popcorn (her almost nightly ritual). In the process of getting ready for bed, she went to the bathroom. When she was done, she came out and asked me to ‘come look at something in the bathroom.’

There I found a quarter cup of yellow liquid on the floor and running down to the base of the toilet. I have never understood why sometimes when she pees it goes anywhere but into the toilet. I thought only boys were capable of such misguidance.

Speaking of misguidance, as I took my obligatory leak upon arriving home from my workday, just as I was finishing up, the button on my pants fell off into the toilet. I had to fish it out with a slotted spoon from the kitchen. I won’t describe the spoon so you’re not grossed out if you’re ever over for a meal and the same spoon is used to serve your vegetables. Don’t worry, I’ll sterilize it in the dishwasher.

I’m keeping my pants on now using a safety pin. If I relied on Vickey’s willingness to sew the button back on, I’d forever be wondering when the safety pin would fail and pierce me. But not to worry, on my mission I overcame the fear of the needle and thread. Guess that’s something they don’t do in Fiji (where Vickey served), only in Ogden.

And for when Vickey reads this and feels it necessary to defend herself, I’m not being critical. I’m just offering an observation of who’s willing and capable of repairs involving needle and thread.

I’m sure there are plenty of things Vickey could site that she does and I don’t.

Anyway, if any of you have any suggestions for teaching a girl how to aim into the toilet instead of towards the toilet seat, floor or wall, I’d be much obliged.